21 weeks!

Holy cow! This is flying!

We came out on facebook this weekend! So much drama leading up to it! Ugh! Feels better to be out! Now I need to tell my boss since I am sure people will start talking sooner or later. Especially after how much I ate over the weekend I actually have a bump today!

My BFF says I look like I have to poop! She cracks me up!

How big is baby:  pomegranate - 21 weeks
Total weight change:  I am still down 3 as of today, up like 1.5 from last week, ate a tonnnn over the weekend!
Symptoms: peeing a lot and tired!
Maternity clothes: i am probably going to be making the switch soon!
Stretch marks: only what I started with
Sleep: Ahhh sleep, I love you so much!
Best moment of this week: telling my brother and dad and then coming out on facebook! Kind of freeing! I need to tell my boss, probably next week and then the rumors can start at work
Miss anything: liking to eat protein, sneeze without pain and to be able to brush my teeth without gagging and dry heaves (same as last week)
Movement: I am feeling her more but still not consistent. Last night I was feeling a light thunking and pressed on my belly a bit and felt her. So strange!
Food cravings: I just love fruit right now
Food Aversions: Protein...I have to force myself to eat meat.
Sex: Girl!
Labor signs: no way again
Belly button in or out: innie
Looking forward to: ummm viability day? Next OB appt to hear her again (next Tuesday!)
Milestones: Being out publicly finally! 

Check and Check... we an almost go public!!

Woot!
Dad down, brother down!
So my uncle has been really sick which is horrible but it has worked out in my favor.
My aunt had not posted an update on him in a few days so it gave me a reason to contact my dad to find out what was going on. (he is in the hospital and has viral meningitis, which luckily is the treatable one, but it is going to be a long recovery)
Anyway after finding out my Uncle was going to be okay my dad and I made some small talk and so then I told him I had something that could make his day a little better, so we told him he was going to be a grandpa again in September, he seemed excited I think but they were under a severe thunderstorm warning where they live and my step mom started yelling about stuff blowing away and a tornado warning so he had to go.
I sent him the latest US pic and our announcement pic and he wrote back and asked a couple questions but nothing much.

Next up was calling my brother to give him an update on our uncle. First I called my mom cuz I can never remember if my brother works until 7 or 8... she said it was 7... so I called and he had just gotten a message from one of our cousins with the update on our Uncle. So we talked a bit about that and he was a bit distracted but then I told him while I had him on the phone we had some other news.
So he asked what... so i just said that he was going to be an uncle in September. I think he was in total shock, kind of stammered a bit and just kept saying well that is a shock and Oh, okay well that's good a few times.. So I told him i would let him go so he could be in shock!
A few minutes later he started texting and seemed excited and then like 20 minutes later he called me to apologize. He was still at work and making notes in a patient file when I told him so he didn't know what to say. But he is excited!

I made the mistake of telling my mom we were going to go Facebook live this weekend. So she is all worried about feelings getting hurt. That my grandma needs to know before everyone else, which I agree so said my dad can call her Saturday morning. And then is worried that if we tell my one aunt Saturday when we see her that my other Aunt who is my godmother will be upset. UGH... fine tell Aunt S before Aunt H finds out. OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

20 weeks! Half Baked! What?????????????

How far along: 20 weeks half baked!
How big is baby:  banana
Total weight change:  I have been OOT so have no clue what I weigh, maybe tomorrow I will check!
Symptoms: peeing a lot and tired!
Maternity clothes: some pants are tight, although I took 2 pairs of Mat cargo pants on vaca and wore them with the full waist folded down, so comfy! I think the couple of mat work pants just showed up so I might start transitioning to them.
Stretch marks: only what I started with
Sleep: Ahhh sleep, I love you so much!
Best moment of this week: The anatomy scan! She has changed so much in 6 weeks! Still need to tell my brother (I suck at this) and call my dad and then we will go FB public this week
Miss anything: liking to eat protein, sneeze without pain and to be able to brush my teeth without gagging and dry heaves (same as last week)
Movement: I feel things once in a while
Food cravings: I just love fruit right now
Food Aversions: Protein...I have to force myself to eat meat.
Sex: Girl!
Labor signs: no way again
Belly button in or out: innie
Looking forward to: Finally being public! 2 more calls to make and then we will tell everyone. It will be nice to be OUT! I told one more person at work but am not ready to be out there simply because they are so annoying. I will probably tell my boss next week and ask him not to say anything
Milestones: Half Baked!!! WOOOOOOOO

Anatomy Scan done!

Thursday morning was our Anatomy Scan. (this is late because we left right from that appointment to go on vacation and just got home tonight!)
Baby girl was sleeping through pretty much the whole thing, even when he was poking her to try to get her to move/wake up. She just rolled over!
She was chillin right where I keep feeling her, down low on the right side.
Luckily she was in a great position for him though to get all the views he needed so that was good!
He told us everything looked good on his end and went to see in there was a MFM dr that could come look but there was no one available right then but if there was an issue they would call. So no call = good news!
Okay... of course my pictures are on my phone. So I am going to attempt to save this from my computer and edit to add pics from my phone and come back...
We will see what happens! Ohhh look how talented I am!
I think he gave us like 12 pictures. a few were profiles then a foot those are the two I attached. There is one where she looks like skeletor and of course the money shot!

Foot?

19 weeks (almost half baked? whaaa?)

How far along: 19 weeks
How big is baby:  Mango!
Total weight change:  I have gained back 4 do still down 6. My OB is not concerned so I will not dwell on it!
Symptoms: Migraines, I have pretty much had one since last week. My OB gave me a prescription It hasn't helped really. And fatigue. 
Maternity clothes: Probably soon. A couple more pairs of pants were a little snug this week. Wishing it was a bump but it still isn't.
Stretch marks: only what I started with
Sleep: Ahhh sleep, I love you so much!
Best moment of this week: Since last week? Telling my parents and E's sister. Hearing Penguins HB at my appt on Tuesday
Miss anything: liking to eat protein, sneeze without pain and to be able to brush my teeth without gagging and dry heaves (same as last week)
Movement: I felt a couple things but nothing daily
Food cravings: I just love fruit right now
Food Aversions: Protein...I have to force myself to eat meat.
Sex: Girl!
Labor signs: no way again
Belly button in or out: innie
Looking forward to: Our Anatomy Scan is Thursday!! yay!!!!!!!!!!!!
Milestones: Umm nothing really, half baked next weekend!

Why does IF suck so bad? Why do such horrible things happen to good people?

This will most likely be a rambling post but I just have so many thoughts in my head.

Life sucks so bad and so many bad things happen to such good people who have already struggled so much already.
last month it was one of the sweetest girls I have ever met on TB (and IDOB and SAIF) who experienced a loss. That struck me hard, I couldn't believe it, she was only about a month ahead of me. I am still completely devastated for her and her family. And think of her every day and send mental hugs her way.

Then this week another one of the girls who I know from TB and moved on to IDOB and SAIF as well started having complications.
She is due a week after me. 17 weeks and a few days.  I was just telling my husband today about her and how she was in the hospital with complications and how scary it was. It hit home even more because we were due so close to each other. And that we needed to keep her and her husband in our thoughts.
I really can't type this next part without crying. It is just so unfair. She (they) have been through so much to get pregnant.
We were told this evening that her water broke and she lost the baby. I just can't understand? Hadn't she and her family been through enough already?
Why does the universe or whoever it is keep doing bad things to such good people? It makes me so mad and sad. I don't even know how to express my feelings I can't imagine what she is going through. I don't understand?

I hate infertility and loss I don't want anyone to be hurt by them anymore. I don't want my friends to have to suffer because they want something that comes so easily to others.

One sibling down!

This has to be the most drawn out telling the family process EVER!!
We wanted to tell my brother and SIL and his sister and BIL this week.
Of course my brother is on vacation since last Friday and might be home tomorrow. Geez...
Come on family make it easier for me to tell you we have great news!!


Anyway E's sister had emailed us on Monday about a 5k race that sounded really fun it has an inflatable obstacle course!! But it is this August! When I would be 36 weeks pregnant!

We didn't respond on Monday and Tuesday she started texting me asking me if we were interested. So when E got home from work I told him we either had to call or Facetime her and finally tell her.

We picked up the phone and hit facetime and she answered and we talked to our niece and nephew for a while and they were wired!

After a bit I told her that we were actually calling to chat about the race she wanted to do. I told her E would probably be out of town that day and she thought that was a bummer and asked about me so I responded with "I don't think your new niece or nephew would really enjoy me doing that race so much" She gasped and was so excited!!
Started asking a ton of questions but was so super excited! And said she was wondering if something was going on since I was only doing 6 5ks this year when last year I did 13. I told her 13 was a lot to start with and a lot of pressure to do them. But that was obviously only part of the reason!

Now I need my brother to get home so I can tell him, then call my father and then announce on facebook... I will be past 20 weeks by the time all that happens!

Phew! Finally told :) Not the reaction I expected!

I really wish hubs had recorded the reaction! He said he wishes he had captured my mom's expression when she first realized, it was priceless!!

It totally wasn't what I expected!! 

I had wrapped my moms real birthday gift and then the frame with the picture in it.

So we chatted for quite a while and finally my dad asked when my mom got to open her presents! I gave her her real present first which she loved and then she asked if she could open the other one. I told her go ahead.

She did and stared for a bit before she asked what it was. I told her to read the bottom which the frame hid a little bit. She read it and stared then started patting her chest with her mouth hanging open, breathing real hard. Then went "really??? Really??" I said yes and she started laughing and pounding on her chest.

And my dad sat there going what? What is going on? She handed him the frame and he also asked if it was for real. So we said yes and he started to cry. I don't think my mom cried, my dad would and then stop and start again. It was so funny.

Now at this point I should explain the man I call my dad is my StepDad. He and my mom got married when I was 4 and has raised me like his daughter. I think he was more emotional at my news than when his own daughter told him for either of her kids.  He really is my dad, he was the man in my life for the last 33 years, blood doesn't matter, I love him with all of my heart regardless of genetics.
I still need to call my dad, he really wasn't part of my life, I saw him maybe once a year while growing up and then for a while not at all. I think I am going to call him right before we go live on FB and tell him. If he calls me for my birthday I will tell him then since we plan on going live right around then. I am sure he will be thrilled but he lives in another state and I doubt he will make any special trips to see his grandchild. He might come up once every 2 years for family reunions and I think my step mom is a total bitch so I don't make many trips to see him.

Then there were hugs. And discussion of how things would change and how far along I was. And how on earth did we keep it quiet for so long. So we explained how we were gonna tell but then the cancelled trip etc.... They wanted to start calling people right then but we asked them to please wait and if there was a leak of info we would know where it came from.

Then the annoying started! 50000000 questions from mom. Are you taking vitamins? Are you taking Folic Acid? Wait, didn't you run in a race the other weekend is that okay? how many sonograms have you had? Where will you have the baby? Where is your OB at, is that your regular Gyno? Do they even still offer lamaze classes? Are you going to take one? Will E be in the delivery room? What are you going to do about work? How sick were you? You look like you lost a lot of weight is that okay? Are you feeling anything? Do you know the sex? Are you going to find out the sex? What room will be the nursery?

And then we went out to lunch and the questions continued... I can't remember half of them! By that point I was giving short one word answers or just saying "we don't know yet" At one point I got up for something and E was at the table with her and he said she told him that she needs to stop with the questions because she can tell she is driving me crazy. The questions had stopped after I came back to the table.

Week 18!

Pretty much not much of this is going to change from last week!

How far along: 18 weeks
How big is baby:  Sweet Potato
Total weight change:  I am slowly gaining some back I am up 3 but still down 7 (same as last week) I have an appt this week and am wondering if they will say this is okay or not.
Symptoms: breathing sucks, sneezing makes my belly hurt from RLP pain, so tired
Maternity clothes: Not yet, but soon I think. I had to use my belly band with 2 pairs of my work pants last week. But most of them still fit just fine.
Still not really showing but my lower belly is getting harder and my permapudge (I can never get rid of it) is a little larger!
Stretch marks: only what I started with
Sleep: Ahhh sleep, I love you so much!
Best moment of this week: My ILs came over with a baby gift yesterday she said it was baby's Easter gift, it is a ducky toy that jingles and can clip onto a car seat
Miss anything: liking to eat protein, sneeze without pain and to be able to brush my teeth without gagging and dry heaves (same as last week)
Movement: maybe. I think I have felt things a few times but nothing consistant. Just a few flutters here and there and it is SO weird!
Food cravings: I just love fruit right now
Food Aversions: Protein...I have to force myself to eat meat.
Sex: Girl!
Labor signs: no way again
Belly button in or out: innie
Looking forward to: Telling my parents in just a couple hours!!
Milestones: none this week!

I can almost tell! I can almost tell!! :) (my parents)

I should have just done the phone call and gotten it over with. The last 2.5 weeks have sucked so hard!!

But my parents are finally home and we are going there Sunday!

We can't make it tomorrow (Friday) :( bummer too because my brother and SIL are going to be there.

I thought we could go Saturday morning  before our other plans but my dad won't be home... UGH!

So Sunday it is... As long as they will both be around... I need to double check on that one!
18 weeks and finally telling my mother... geez!!!

Then we can call my bio Dad and tell him what evs on that one... but he will be excited... he will never see her but he will be excited. Or maybe he will come up more than once every 2 years! Not going to hold my breath on that one though!

and then the sibs... of course my brother is going on vacation leaving this weekend for a week so maybe we will just call or we will wait a week... and finally tell E's sister and BIL they will be so excited...
and I am sure will want to clear out what baby stuff they may still have in their basement!

We are waiting to go FB public until after our Anatomy Scan on the 17th. I am thinking I will probably post something on my birthday, since we are going on a mini vacation right after the A/S and coming home the day before my birthday. And then that gives me a chance to tell my boss before I post!

Of course I will post the reaction Sunday...

and then Tuesday I have an OB appt and get to hear pengys HB again I am so excited. I keep thinking up questions and I really should write them down because I forget them so quickly!