Oh hey there!! (from 1/28/15 never posted for some reason)

I doubt anyone even comes here anymore because I suck a blogging!

This tiny human sucks all my time!

She is just over 4 months old and amazes me every day.

She laughs and smiles. Can roll tummy to back when she feels like it not when you want her to do it.

I am so glad I made the decision to stay home with her. I have a hard time leaving her.

I think part of that is that it took so much for us to get her here that I don't want to miss a second. And I am terrified of something happening to her.

Hubs keeps talking about#2.

It seems he has forgotten the stuggle to have this one. We need to have a serious talk about it. After a year and a half of putting hormones into my body to try to get pregnant, 41 weeks of being pregnant and then the post partum hormones I think I am finally starting to feel like me again. But it has been over 2 years since I have. And I dont want to lose myself again. Men just don't understand how hard it all is.

I have other fears with trying to get pregnant again but that is another post. For now the little monkey is asleep for a nap so I need to stop rocking and get things done.

This new mom thing is rough! from 9/27/14 never posted for some reason

I am not gonna lie. I have cried more in the last 11 days than I have in the last 11 years.

Lack of sleep, hormones and a cranky baby all take its toll and then I am sobbing uncontrollably.

Poor DH wants to help but never offers at the right time or waits until i am bawling to notice I need a break.

It is quite an adjustment but then when she is peaceful and just stares at me myheart  melts and I realize again it is so worth the rough minutes/hours tomhave her here.

I know things will get better and easier and the hormones will calm down. Some days are really rough. I am not looking forward to hubs going back to work next week. He worked from home a few hours this week and it was nice to have someone to hand her off to for a break.

I dont feel comfortable posting a picture of her on here sorry. But she is a cutie!