Not much happening... bloated and cramping... and trying to talk myself out of peeing on things....
I was incredibly moody, crabby and on the verge of tears today. All PMS symptoms, caused by the progesterone shots is my guess.... But it has been over a week of those why now???? why is it affecting me so bad now???
Work also sucked major monkey ass today... I am so over everything, it is all getting to me and I can't stand my boss or his son (mostly his son) right now. He is trying to help but knows nothing and is just fucking everything up and making more work for everyone else. One of us needs to go... and I don't see daddy firing him... too bad this is not the best time to switch jobs if this did work....
I am trying to stay positive... but also am preparing for the worst. What if on Saturday they call with the results and it is negative? All those shots, all that money for nothing... We have one frozen embryo so we could do a FET (frozen embryo transfer) which is a much cheaper cycle because it doesn't need all the monitoring and shots as a fresh cycle. But what if the embryo doesn't survive the thaw? what if that doesn't work? then what? Spend another $17k for another what if? I will be 37 in April and E 38 in March, how long is too long to try? how old is to old....
Please make my brain stop... I don't know how to make it all stop... the what ifs are going to make me crazy...
Saturday is my 10th 5k of the year, my favorite one that I have done the last 3 years... I have to get my blood draw first thing at 8 and am hoping I can make it to the park and get to the start by 9 so I can actually do it... I will just be walking since no training has happened with this lazy fat ass in a long time.
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